THE JOURNEY FROM PRIMITIVE EGO TO ENLIGHTENMENT: THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF ALL HUMAN DEVELOPMENT© Dick Rauscher

In this issue of the Stonyhill newsletter I will swing the pendulum back to a developmental focus by introducing an integrated model of human development and spiritual growth. I will show that human psychological development is the same as spiritual growth and that all human development is nothing more than a journey of increasing self-awareness that leads to enlightenment.

For those who are more visual learners, a brief outline of the human development model that I will be discussing is shown in the diagram below.

The first seven to eight years of life is a period of intense learning. We learn about relationships, who is safe and who isn't’t, what people expect of us, and about rewards and punishments. To put it simply, we become socialized to the various cultures that we are born into; our family of origin and the larger social culture. The things we learn in this first eight years are called the unconscious, old brain, the inner child, or the primitive ego. Essentially, this part of our brain is the brain’s unconscious operating system. The primitive ego/inner child is similar to the operating system of your computer, it rarely seen, but it controls all the functioning of your computer brain.

It is important to understand how your primitive ego functions because this is the powerful unconscious operating system of your brain that will direct your choices and behaviors for the rest of your life. This primitive ego/inner child also contains most of the unconscious beliefs that will form your opinions, your assumptions, and your expectations about events and other persons in your life. Some call various aspects of the unconscious inner child the shadow part of the human psyche.

For example, if you grew up in a home where you were criticized or put down a lot, your inner child might have learned to be very defensive and avoid risk so as to avoid criticism and grown up believing that you have a basic flaw at the core of who you are i.e. that you are not “OK”, To be safe, you must be a perfectionist and very self-critical. Perfectionism of course will leave you anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed much of the time.

Perfectionists often complain of feeling inadequate or even worse; that they are a failure. Because of these early learning’s and survival skills, you will probably experience a lot of rejection and criticism in your relationships with others. It is not uncommon for children from these homes learn to be care takers of others but lack the ability to care for themselves.

On the other hand, if you grew up in a home where you had very loving but overly protective and controlling parents who “impinged” or limited your ability to be independent and autonomous, your inner child may have learned that intimate relationships are dangerous for your autonomy and sense of self. Thus, you might be more of loner and avoid intimate relationships with others. Some children from these homes often develop an oppositional personality. If overt opposition was not allowed, they often learn to be passively oppositional.

These illustrations represent only a few of the outcomes possible from family of origin experiences in the first seven to eight years of life. Because there is no such thing as a perfect family to grow up in, all of us have inner children that are wounded to varying degrees; we all have fears, beliefs that are not accurate, and skills that we developed to protect ourselves. We call them the shadow aspects of the unconscious.

The important concept here is that the primitive ego of the inner child will unconsciously influence the way you live your life and will unconsciously determine the paths that you choose on your life journey. Unless this old brain or inner child is understood, you will have a second grader running your life and you won’t even know it.

Let’s take a look at a few of the primary shadow aspects of the primitive ego called your inner child. It is important to understand that these primitive structures are common to all human beings. All of us have these traits to some degree, the only variable is that of intensity.

1) To minimize anxiety and make the world safe, the primitive ego learns to split the world into all or nothing, black or white categories called good and bad, right and wrong. The primitive ego does not emotionally understand the concept of gray.

2) The primitive ego learns very early in life that everything comes from the world. For example, food, burping, diaper changes, rocking, holding, physical warmth and safety are either provided for or withheld by caretakers. Thus the primitive ego does not emotionally or intellectually understand the concept of introspection and self-awareness. All attention is on the external world. When the primitive ego experiences negative feelings, it quickly searches the surrounding environment and blames the people and events for creating those negative feelings.

3) The primitive ego learns that it is the center or ruler of the known universe. All it has to do to get what it needs or wants is to open its mouth and scream. Thus the primitive ego does not emotionally understand the concept of interdependence and cooperation. If the needs and wants of the primitive ego are frustrated, the primitive ego will get angry and upset. It expects to get what it wants, simply because it wants it.

4) To keep the world safe so as to get rewards (love and attention) and minimize punishment ( rejection, criticism, abandonment) the primitive ego learns that being right and in control are effective ways to minimize anxiety. The concept that others might also share a piece of the “truth” on any subject is not emotionally understood or accepted by the primitive ego. The beliefs, opinions, assumptions and expectations of the primitive ego are “right”. Anyone who disagrees with the primitive ego is wrong and is often labeled as evil and dangerous. The primitive ego is very fearful of being vulnerable. It operates on a vertical power model called “power over” which is sometimes referred to as survival of the fittest.

5) And finally, to maximize rewards and minimize punishment, the “culturalizing” process of childhood quickly teaches the primitive ego to be very invested in being the person that it thinks others want it to be. The primitive ego becomes what we commonly refer to as a “false self”. The primitive ego works very hard to be a perfect false self so as to be safe.

To summarize, the primitive ego is simply the primary “operating system” of the human brain. It is seldom seen directly, but it is responsible for organizing and directing the thoughts and behaviors of virtually all human interaction. The inner child is stuck forever in childhood but unconsciously works all of your life to keep you safe. It will keep the world simple by only allowing two categories called good and bad, it will always focus outwardly on the “stuff” of the world in it’s search for happiness, it will be very self-centered and non-empathic, it will always be very invested in being right and being in control, and lastly, it will always blame events and other persons for it’s feelings.

Unfortunately, if we look at the lack of civility and the source of conflict in the world today, it is clear that most humans may look like adults, but they are responding to the events and people in their lives using the all or nothing, knee-jerk responses of their primitive ego; the primitive behaviors of an eight years old. This is referred to as stage 2 in the above diagram. Stage 2 adults have very little self awareness and tend to be very reactive when interacting with the people and world in which they live.

In stage two, the body appears to be that of an adult, but under stress, it quickly becomes apparent that the primitive ego of an eight year old inner child is in control. The stage two “adult” is simply an eight year old inner child in an adult body. The primitive ego of an eight year old in second grade does not have the life experience, the insights, or the wisdom needed to effectively run an adult life and make mature decisions. The thought of a reactive eight year old with its finger on the trigger of an atomic weapon is frightening indeed!

Stage three I define as awakening. The prime requirement for awakening is pain and suffering. Humans don’t grow until the pain of where they are is worse than the fear of where they might have to travel. It is in stage three that the journey into a conscious self-awareness begins. Some reach stage three very young. Some never achieve a stage three consciousness.

Most people reach stage three consciousness only after they have exhausted themselves trying to achieve happiness out in the world. They are often people that have successful careers, they are educated, they have nice homes and automobiles and possess most of the things that culture says they need to have in order to be happy.

And then, one day, they awaken to the painful reality that they are not happy. There is no inner “peace”. The growing inner wisdom, that happiness is not going to be achieved by owning worldly “stuff”, breaks into their consciousness. Their inner wisdom “knows” that happiness is not based on other people or the events in their life suddenly changing. The childhood survival skills of the primitive ego are no longer helpful. Trying to be what they think others want them to be is not working. There is a growing inner need to be authentic and real.

The conscious inner journey toward the deeper self-awareness of a mature stage 4 observing adult has begun. Human development from this point on will increasingly manifest a softening of the primitive ego. The rigid all or nothing thinking of the primitive ego will begin to soften. Even under stress, compassion, tolerance, and non-reactive responses will begin to be evident; pro-active responses will increase. The observing consciousness of the maturing adult ego will begin to pay attention to what is in the moment rather than focusing on past memories or future worries. The observing adult in stage four is best described as a primitive ego plus a primitive adult beginning the journey toward an awakened consciousness. The work from this point on will be the struggle to stay awake. As Tony de Mello reminds us, anyone can wake up, it’s staying awake that becomes the challenge.

From this point on, the maturing ego will strive to increasingly be awake to what is in the moment and at peace with what is. Projection and blame will continue to diminish as the maturing ego increasingly owns its own feelings and embraces the systemic unity and interconnectedness of all things. The maturing ego learns to openly embrace the radical diversity of all creation, and is increasingly content to live life on the middlepath; a place of ego emptiness and not knowing. For the maturing ego in stage four, the black and white thinking of the primitive ego slowly gives way to the gray of reality. Living with paradox and the concept that there is truth in all things is no longer uncomfortable.

The closer the maturing ego gets to enlightenment the more it manifests its essential nature of agape love; the ability to love unconditionally without a “because”. The primitive ego always requires a conditional “because” in order to love. The maturing ego increasingly understands that there are really only two basic choices in life; one can manifest the unconditional agape love of the essential self, or one can manifest the conditional love of the primitive ego.

The great spiritual teachers of history like the Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, The Buddha, Mohammad and Jesus have changed the world not because of what they have done, but because of who they were. They were mature enlightened people who simply manifested their essential nature; unconditional agape love.

This model of human development shows clearly that any authentic growth in self-awareness is authentic spiritual growth. Authentic spiritual growth means that there has been authentic growth in self-awareness. The ego has matured.

Simply stated, if we want to grow spiritually we have no choice but to become more self-aware. We must first meet and understand the primitive ego of our inner child. We must learn to love the inner child, but recognize that we can no longer allow the primitive ego of the inner child to run our lives. Thus, the first step toward authentic spiritual growth begins in learning to love ourselves. Until we do, our love for others will always have a “because”.

PERSONAL COMMENTS

The leaves are turning the hills into an artist's painting and the crisp cold air of fall is invigorating. There is a wonderful sense of change in the air. Every fall I say that fall is my favorite time of the year, but it’s always a toss up with my other favorite; spring. I stood on the porch yesterday looking over the gardens and the last of the summer colors. The winds were blowing in 40 to 50 mph gusts.

As I stood there enjoying the storm, I began to feel a growing sense that I’d better get the last of the wood in the woodshed and the sand barrels on the driveway topped off with fresh sand. I know how fast the weather can change from the relatively warm days of October to the cold biting wind and snow of early November. I have spent far too many November days finishing up the “getting ready for winter chores” with numb fingers.

The Relationships as Spiritual Practice workshop at the Bath UMC last month was a great success. We had a wonderful turnout of workshop participants who were fully engaged in the learning process offering great feedback and challenging questions. It’s hard not to have a successful workshop with people who offer such creative energy to the learning process.

As usual, I came away from the workshop with all sorts of ideas to help make the next one even more interesting and helpful. It’s hard to know who the students are and who the “teacher” is when I learn so much from the “students”. It is always a reminder to me that everyone has wisdom to offer if I can keep an open mind and listening heart.

Because I write this newsletter and offer workshops primarily for three rather diverse groups of people, the feedback that I receive from workshop participants and readers of this newsletter is an important and varied source of learning for me. It comes from very different perspectives or points of view regarding the integration of psychotherapy and spirituality.

The first group I write for is the professional therapist or counselor who is interested in finding ways to effectively use and understand the “spirituality” and/or religious issues that clients bring into the therapy office. Because of the growing popularity of spiritual self help books on the market, clients increasingly understand the pain they experience as spiritual in origin. There is very little effective literature available for therapists to intentionally connect psychotherapy and human spirituality.

The religious material available on spirituality and the meaning of life are too often embedded in conservative religious beliefs and theology to be helpful to a secular therapist. It is also important to understand that most conservative religious writers are subtly, and sometimes aggressively, anti-therapy in their beliefs. In a similar way, it needs to be noted that some writers in the field of psychotherapy that write on spirituality in the counseling office are subtly and sometimes not so subtly, pushing their own “religious” beliefs.

To be effective and ultimately helpful for therapists, there must be a clear line drawn between religion and spirituality when we explore the intentional integration of psychotherapy and spirituality.

The second group of readers is the professional clergy who are routinely expected to work with mental health issues in their congregations using both mental health and “spiritual” language. Because writers in the fields of mental health, spirituality, and religion all use a “language” specific to their own field of study, clergy are given little help integrating these three language specific disciplines. It is further complicated when writers attempt to present religious and spiritual concepts as one and the same subject. Clergy often end up in an either/or position bouncing back and forth between the three different languages and concepts.

There is virtually no literature available for clergy that effectively links human development and spiritual growth. Most therapists and clergy do not understand that authentic spiritual growth is simply growth in self awareness; and growth in self awareness is authentic spiritual growth. They are identical. They simply use two different languages.

As I said earlier, there must be a clear line drawn between religion and spirituality so as not to confuse the integration of the two “languages” called mental health and spirituality. It is important to note that individual religious beliefs and practices can indeed be helpful in facilitating a person’s developmental and spiritual growth, but unfortunately, most of the world’s mainline religions are too parochial to be helpful if the task is integration of mental health and spirituality.

The third group of readers and workshop participants are people interested in bringing happiness and a sense of authentic spirituality into their day to day relationships with their intimate partners, their children and the various people in their lives. Like a people in exile, these people are searching for a way home; a return to family systems grounded in deeper values and understandings of life than those offered by society and the culture in which we live. These people are often struggling with unhelpful traditional, conservative, and outdated main line religious theological beliefs.

There is a lot of new age spiritual growth literature available on the book shelves today, but unfortunately, most of these new age concepts of spiritual growth bypass the psychological healing that is absolutely necessary for anyone who has a hunger to grow spiritually. It is very dangerous to ignore the shadows of the unconscious. The unconscious, or what I call the primitive ego of the inner child, has great power and wisdom to offer, but only if we are conscious and aware of this shadow side of our nature. Until the shadow parts of our unconscious are understood and healed, the spiritual growth one achieves from the material in the majority of these spiritual self help books will not be authentic.

Good mental health and authentic spiritual growth both require a lifetime commitment to growth in self-awareness; a growth that is challenging and often painful work requiring the help of a well trained spiritual teacher. As Sam Keen warns, it is important to check the batteries in your spiritual bull shit detector each morning when you leave the house, because there are lot of very poorly trained spiritual teachers promising simple paths to a so called “authentic” spirituality.

It is my hope that the Stonyhill newsletters and workshops can be a voice for an integrated psychological and spiritual growth helpful to all three groups of readers.

In this months feature article I will explore and compare the primitive ego of the inner child with the timeless pure consciousness of the essential self. I will propose a model of human development from birth to enlightenment that I believe offers the possibility of an effective integration of psychological and spiritual concepts.

I have several articles on the web site that expand on these concepts for those who want to further explore these ideas. I also welcome questions and feedback via email.

See you next month.

Namaste
Dick Rauscher
Stonyhill Institute
167 Rainbow Drive PMB#6729
Livingston, TX 77399

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

When our ego has been “emptied”, what remains is the agape love of our essential self. When we love without a because, we are manifesting agape love; the unconditional love of God. Unconditional love is possible only to the degree that we understand and love the inner child and recognize that the primitive ego of the inner child can no longer be allowed to run our lives.

The primitive ego of the inner child is unable to love unconditionally. It insists on having a “because”; a reason for loving. I love you because you love me. I love you because you agree with me. I love you because you believe the same things I believe. I love you because I am a thoughtful compassionate nice person.

Conditional love of the primitive ego will quickly change to anger, conflict, judgment, criticism, and rejection when the “because” that the conditional love was based on is no longer present. In other words, conditional love can quickly change to anger and conflict if the other person insists on being a unique separate person. Consider for example what might happen to primitive ego’s “love” if the other person were to suddenly insult us, criticize us, judge us, or reject us because we are an ugly, stupid jerk that doesn't’t know what we’re talking about.

When we base our thoughts, our behaviors, and our emotions on a ”because”, we are simply manifesting the primitive ego. Thus the process of awakening and maturing the primitive ego requires that we increasingly pay attention to the “because” behind our emotions and our behaviors.

There are only two basic responses to life; we can manifest the conditional love of our primitive ego or we can manifest the unconditional love of our essential self. It is essential to stay awake if we wish to mature as a human species.

Looking for the “because” behind our actions and emotions is a powerful spiritual practice to help us stay awake and self-aware. As we each grow in conscious self-awareness, we grow as a species toward an enlightened global spirituality.

When one person grows in self-awareness, the self-awareness of the universe increases.

GOALS OF THE STONYHILL NEWSLETTER

We live in a world filled with conflict and violence. Almost everyone agrees that something has to change. There is an urgent need to develop a more compassionate global spirituality.

At Stonyhill, we believe it makes no sense to profess the values and morality of peace and compassion while continuing to manifest the primitive ego's paradigm of vertical power called survival of the fittest; a paradigm of power, control, and violence.

We must learn how the unconscious judgments of the primitive ego bring the seeds of conflict, and a sense of "otherness" into the world. If our personal goal is to do no harm to others or the world, then our thinking must consciously evolve and become more conscious or self-aware.

We will become what we think about and authentic spiritual growth is achieved only when we grow in self-awareness.

Traditional mainline religions are based on primitive pre-modern and violent tribal metaphors written during a time when our human consciousness was still very primitive. Until our mainline religions remove the violence contained in their scriptures and come to understand that most of the wisdom in their scriptures is metaphoric and should not be interpreted literally, they will be unable to offer the moral and ethical framework needed to create effective global solutions to the challenges facing us in the 21st century.

We will evolve as humans only as we become more self-aware and intentionally increase our ability to love unconditionally. A compassionate global spirituality is no longer just an interesting philosophic idea; the future of the human species may very well depend upon our ability to create it. The danger that we could destroy ourselves as a species has never been greater. The creation of a compassionate global community is the most important goal of human consciousness in the 21st century.

The Stonyhill Newsletter explores the insights and spiritual practices required to achieve the authentic spiritual growth that comes from deep self-awareness, understanding the primitive ego that resides in each of us, and the intentional evolution of our species consciousness.

The Stonyhill newsletter is written each month for counselors, therapists, clergy, and individuals interested in authentic spiritual growth, intentional growth in our human consciousness, and the formation of a compassionate, non-violent global community that openly embraces radical inclusiveness and diversity.

Namaste
Dick Rauscher

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

The Stonyhill Newsletter is written and published by Dick Rauscher, M.Div., Fellow AAPC. For past issues of the Stonyhill Newsletter and other in depth articles on authentic spiritual growth and the Primitive Ego Theory of Human Development written by Dick Rauscher go to www.stonyhill.com
All rights reserved.
Copyright 2007

There are many article on spiritual growth, the middlepath and the primitive ego on the Stonyhill web site at www.stonyhill.com. If you would like to read an in-depth article on The Primitive Ego Theory of Human Development and the relationship between authentic spiritual growth and the growth in self-awareness that comes as we better understand the primitive ego that dwells inside each of us, you can go to the Awakening article #26 on the web site or just click on this link: http://www.stonyhill.com/articles.htm - awakening

Visit the STONYHILL INSTITUTE website at http://www.stonyhill.com/articles.htm for additional articles on the integration of spirituality and psychotherapy.

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QUOTES

We know from our study of evolution that life is a single whole. All life has developed from that first single cell of living matter that was born in the sea some four billion years ago……….. no more than one to two million years ago, this evolutionary process finally produced human-like ancestors. Perhaps no more than 50,000 years ago, self-consciousness and the ability to create symbols called words to convey abstract ideas combined to make us uniquely human. Human beings were not created in the image of some external deity; we developed out of the evolutionary soup as part of the fabric of life itself. DNA evidence today demonstrates that we are kin, not only to apes but also to cabbages. We are part of an emerging life force sharing a common environment with every other living thing. No creature can organize the world for its own benefit, because all life is radically interdependent. Bishop John Shelby Spong

I believe a person is spiritually awakened when they have incorporated the spiritual disciplines to live fully in the moment, and have developed a heart that is open to a sense of the sacred. A person who is spiritually awakened has the ability to accept the reality of what is, and is able to internally challenge and explore the many ego beliefs, assumptions, certainties, and expectations that they have unconsciously accumulated over the course of their life. The goal of such exploration is to empty the ego and simply be. A spiritually awakened person lives life in the knowledge that all of one's accumulated words and beliefs are only relative metaphors and concepts that talk about reality; they do not ultimately define reality. For a person who is spiritually awakened, reality can only be experienced. Dick Rauscher

If we reflect now on our contention that we are the image of God, we must conclude that we, also, are intended to be essentially a community, a holy community, established by agape, which effectively grounds our distinctness as persons, our oneness in being, and our equality in value. We, also , exist in a perichoresis, an unceasing circulation of life. In this community, each one is precious, so that the community cannot afford to lose even one, and on the other hand, no one can experience the reality and fullness of life except through life in the community. No one can dominate another, or be of greater value than another, or in any way identify oneself by contrast with another. Beatrice Bruteau

Once upon a time there was an inn called the Silver Star. The innkeeper was unable to make ends meet even though he did his very best to draw customers by making the inn comfortable, the service cordial, and the prices reasonable. So in despair he consulted a sage.
After listening to his tale of woe, the sage said, “It is very simple. You must change the name of your inn.”
“Impossible! said the innkeeper, “It has been the Silver Star for generations and is well known all over the country.”
“No,” said the sage firmly. “you must now call it the Five Bells and have a row of six bells hanging at the entrance.”
“Six bells? But that’s absurd. What good would that do?”
“Give it a try and see,” said the sage with a smile.
Well, the innkeeper gave it a try. And this is what he saw. Every traveler who passed by the inn walked in to point out the mistake, each one believing that no one else had noticed it. Once inside, they were impressed by the cordiality of the service and stayed on to refresh themselves, thereby providing the innkeeper with the fortune that he had been seeking in vain for so long.
There are few things the ego delights in more than (giving advice) and correcting other people’s mistakes.
From The Heart of the Enlightened by Anthony de Mello

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